It's Not Easy Bein' Weezie

TowelBoy would like his online flock to know that working at Club Pittsburgh is not a perpetual orgy. Everytime I mention my job to some internet chatter or potential gentleman caller, he automatically assumes that I spend 60 hours a week with my feet behind my ears. First, I'm a middle-aged couch potato that does not have the stamina or flexibility to spend that much time in a coital position. Second, my job is not that different from any other (somewhat) clerical position. I spend my days at work washing towels, checking emails, updating the mailing list, stocking, filing, etc. (I find it incredibly ironic that it is extremely difficult for me to explain what it is that I actually do. I show up, I spend approximately eight [or six or four, who's counting] hours there, and I'm exhausted when I get home. I must be doing something.) Unfortunately, I rarely get an opportunity to wrap a towel around my bony ass and spread good will among the gay community. My job is different from your average working stiff, however, because of my incredible group of co-workers and friends. I've spent nearly seven years surrounded by the most creative, warm, and humorous group of guys that you could find in both the working world and the gay community. (Considering I've worked a decade in professional theater, that's no easy feat.) Each Club Pittsburgh compatriot has unique qualities that make our working environment amazing. I'm grateful to work with people that let me give them nicknames, make fun of them, and air all of their dirty laundry on the internet. We've truly become the First Family of Pittsburgh's gay community. Like any family, there are spats, arguments, disagreements, and loads of gossip. Those punching in are ready and waiting to roast the hell out of those punching out. (Sorry Wanda -- I love you like a fat girl loves cake, but you're forever stuck with our incessant chatter.) But when times get tough, we always pull together. (I'm humming the theme to “Family Ties” with one solitary tear rolling down my cheek.) We're just like those Brady kids, only we don't have sex with each other. But I digress.

The newest member of the First Family is Weezie. He has, without a doubt, Club Pittsburgh's largest personality. Always a proper companion, Weezie works hard to keep us smiling. Recently, our Weezie lost his home and all of his possessions in an apartment fire. Thanks to the generosity of friends, co-workers, and the amazing patrons at Club Pittsburgh, Weezie is back on his feet. He's written this delightful letter that I'd like to share with you:

Just like an explosion: that was how you came to my rescue. It was quick, fast, and with loving support. I hope that I find the right words to express the joy in my heart. The Club Pittsburgh members, both those I know and those I don't, have been unbelievable with their generosity. It's been overwhelming. And my co-workers! (my family) Their loving donations brought tears to my eyes. What I'm trying to say is thank you for seeing me through one of the darkest chapters in my life. Things have not been easy for me, but you help me to keep it together. Thanks for showing me that there are still good people out in this world. Here at Club Pittsburgh, everyone showed me that we're one big family, and we help each other in times of need. That's what you all did. I appreciate everything – from furniture to taking me to appointments, clothing to monetary donations. Thank you for being there for me.

From the bottom of my heart, with tearful thanks,
Weezie

Thank you, Weezie, for showing us how a proper companion faces a crisis with humor and dignity.

A note to our online community:
When our new website first went live in February, we were having problems managing the mailing list. It is possible that some of you may have subscribed and we did not get your request. I have been emailing those on the list for three weeks. If you've subscribed but haven't received any mailings, you're probably not on the list. Please go to the ''community'' section of the website and subscribe again. When you subscribe, I will send you an email welcoming you to the community. I typically update the list and send out welcome emails on Tuesdays. And for those on the list – the perks I promised are coming soon. I'm working on it...

A note to CBS:
TowelBoy was stunned this morning when he rolled out of bed early to watch the Emmy award-winning “Guiding Light” only to find George W. Bush greeting the Pope on the White House lawn. In Tuesday's installment, there were lots of awkward hook-ups happening all over Springfield, and I was hoping to learn a thing or two from the fallout. I even got a notepad and a #2 pencil. Imagine my horror when I turned on the television to find a scantily clad Laura Bush instead of scantily clad Kim Zimmer. (Okay, so perhaps Laura Bush was dressed “appropriately”. That made it no less horrific.) In the future, please send me a text message when you plan to interrupt your regularly scheduled award-winning daytime programming with a special report from Katie Couric. I'll just stay in bed.

And Les Moonves – don't be expecting a $5 locker on election day. I can hold a grudge with the best of them. I will not get over the Pontiff with the Crawford Cootie Queen anytime soon. I wanted to be Butter Queen, but unfortunately ended up a bitter queen. Find your cheap election day dick somewhere else.

The Pontiff of Penis,
TowelBoy